Local Legend Turns Four: Bruno Celebrates at the Union Hotel

For my fourth birthday, Mum took me to the Union Hotel in Fitzroy—my local pub and favourite stomping ground. I’m not saying I own the place…but let’s just say I get treated like Fitzroyalty.

And the highlight? They brought me a plate of hot chips with a candle in the middle. A chip cake. For me. I nearly cried (but I was too busy inhaling carbs).

So let’s talk about those chips. Crispy. Golden. Slightly salty. Best birthday cake ever.

And the service? Impeccable. Water bowl? Immediate. Compliments? Non-stop. Honestly, I might be their best-looking regular.

There’s a fabulous covered beer garden out the back—cosy, dog-friendly, and full of delicious smells. Perfect for winter pub sessions. But me? I’m usually out the front, where I can catch the sun and the attention of passers-by. What can I say—I like to be noticed.

So if you’re planning a celebration—or just want to be treated like the icon you are—this is the spot. Bring your humans. They’ll love the beer. You’ll love everything else.

Bruno’s verdict: Five bones. One candle. Endless chips.

Reviewed by Bruno